Mother's Day Brunch at Roots Cafe

To me Mother's Day is about spending time with your family, and maybe a bit of "me" time too. No big presents (it has become far too commercial in my view).  So I got a hand made card, and a gift of most of the Lego on the living room floor being put away.  Then I was given a free afternoon to spend some time on my own.

I also opened a lovely gift that had arrived from my Mom.  She treated herself to a trip to Nice for her birthday this past spring.  Not officially a Mother's Day gift, but arrived very conveniently all the same.  In the package was a lovely scarf which she had picked up for me while travelling.  It fit so perfect with the outfit I was wearing (I swear I was already wearing that dress, necklace and bracelet) that I put it on and wore it for the day.

Dress: Nicole Bridger, Belt: repurposed leather, Shoes: thrifted, Cuff: Local designer at Portobello whose card I lost, scarf: Southern France

I love this naturally treated cuff. It is going to age so nicely. And feel horrible that I can't find the local designers card. Will update if I find it.

 For my "me" time I decided to take some time and look for some spring dresses and "grown up" tops.  I headed off to Addition Elle and Winners.  What did I come home with???  A new pair of ankle cut red pants, and 3 new pairs of sandals from Winners.  Most of the time these days I'm about quality over quantity in footware.  But sandals seem to go out of style faster than other shoes and I am so in love with the fun wedges out this season.  Okay I am making excuses.  I just loved the shoes. Pix to follow.

What did you do on Mother's Day?

Talk about a woman who Owns Her Beauty.  She embraces life and makes no apologizes for her age.  She is a celebrity who isn't afraid to show her "flaws" to the world.   And I have to admit I love that her face moves when she smiles.  She has expressions, which so many in Hollywood are losing as they try to reverse aging.  Give me an opportunity to express my emotions through my face over wrinkle free anyday.

This is the woman who in her 40s appeared without makeup, un-retouched in More magazine in her underwear.  And she looked truly fantastic.

She also puts quite a few of those young, over styled starlets to shame  on the Red Carpet.

Jamie this April at the American Red Cross Red Tie Affair.

I can't wait to hear her story this week.  I am sure she will have us laughing, crying and inspired all at the same time.  Am I gushing?  Yes?  Well, I think I want to become Jamie Lee Curtis when I grow up.

Photos - Zimbio.com and More Magazine.

As usual this posts includes some women who will turn 40 later this year, as well as some women whose age I could not confirm.  So if I guessed wrong and included some under 40... sorry. But you must have looked fantastic for me to include you here.

The 20s seemed to be a big theme in dresses, some in subtle art deco details and others full out flapper.  Peplums or feather skirts (and sometimes together) were other trends.  Bold colours, especially coral, followed from the spring street trends onto the red carpet.  And then there was dramatic black.  There was some "safe" black, but most of the ladies who wore black did so in a dramatic fashion.

Click a thumbnail to start the slide show.  See bottom of post for some of my thoughts on covering celebrities on the red carpet.

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Thoughts on Covering Red Carpet Events...

I've been talking a lot about Owning Our Beauty lately, and will again at Northern Voice.   And one of the key things I am struggling with is my coverage of celebrities.  I do not like the media attention on this beauty "ideal" which is young and very thin.  I started this blog because, in part, I felt that women in middle age needed to be represented.  So my decision is to continue to feature women 40 and over on the red carpet.   Many of these beautiful women are not featured  in other media, because they are not THE young starlets.  So while my blog is small,  it has an opportunity to create some small change.  And I believe women over 40 should be celebrated.

I will also continue to talk about the choice in clothing.  What were the trends. Were the outfits the right for the occasion, her shape and personality.   Did the dress wear her or vice versa.  And NOT judging the woman herself.    Noting, as always that the hours (and huge teams) that go into their perfect looks.  That said, I might still feel the need to point out obvious plastic surgery - because I feel that takes away from the true beauty of these women as they age.

Earlier this month, before the horrible stomach bug hit, I attended (and spoke at) the Breathe Now conference in Victoria.  It was an inspiring weekend with two unique keynote speakers... Rona Maynard,  the former Editor for Chatelaine and Bif Naked, Canadian music icon.  Such unique women, with fantastic (and funny) stories.  I met so many great women over the weekend I don't dare start talking about them or I'll never stop.

It was also an opportunity to catch up with some old friends. I had an opportunity to share some chocolate with Karen, aka @scatteredmom, my Traversetrip to San Diego buddy from last summer.   And get a few hugs from Raul of @hummingbird604.

Me and my TraverseTrip friend Karen aka @scatteredmom (photo care of Derek Ford)

My session, with the lovely Veronique and Teresa, went well and we had some great conversation about Owning Our Beauty.  It was such an open group that even our fantastic weekend photographer Derek Ford joined in.  He even partnered with me for a few of the exercises.   Check out his great Facebook page for more shots from the weekend.

Needless to say it was a fab weekend, where some great women got to step away from life and share some experiences with each other.  And I am looking forward to the 2nd Annual Event next year.

Onto the wardrobe for the weekend.  I decided it was  April and time to pull out the peep toe, red Toms wedges.  And since I was only going to be there for the weekend I decided that I'd only take one pair of pants - my  straight leg 505 Levi's felt like they would up to the challenge of a ferry ride, chasing a 4 year old through the park and looking stylish and comfortable at the conference.   Rolled up they looked great with the wedges.

That just left a top change for each day.  I seem to be into unusual pairings lately and a weekend out of town seemed the perfect opportunity to try out some new ideas.

Day 1 - Black and white striped (Joe Fresh) t-shirt, with my red Shawl collar cardigan (Nygard), layered pearl necklace (Fine Finds), silver cuff (Ann Taylor outlet store) and neon pink sun glasses.

Me and my cute Chevrolet Cruze

Day 2 - Repeat pants and shoes.  For my talk I spiced up the outfit a bit with a red knit top (Anthropologie) under an animal print cardigan (Ann Taylor), paired with a striped black and white scarf and the same silver cuff (Ann Taylor outlet).   This was also the day I got to meet Bif Naked.  So the extra attitude seemed fitting.   I hope in the next few years when I hit menopause I can keep Bif's attitude and consider those hot flashes a "2 minute tropical vacation".

Picture of Bif and me was taken on my camera by Derek Ford.

I have to admit I loved what I wore this weekend. Both outfits felt very me.  Some classic pieces mixed up just enough to make me smile.   And almost everyone noticed the shoes.

The Car 

Now lets get back to the car story.  Chevrolet was a sponsor of the conference and I was offered a vehicle to drive over to Victoria for the weekend.  Carter GM provided me with a very shiny silver Cruze for the weekend.  Although I will admit it tested my rusty manual driving skills.   I sold my manual transmission Saturn when I moved out West 13 years ago... so yeah I was a bit rusty.  But I survived the hill the dealer left the car parked on. And am proud to say I only stalled it a handful of times.  Unfortunately one of those times was on the ramp onto the ferry.  Nothing like pressure with 100 cars lined up behind you waiting...   The manual transmission was very smooth though, and the dash gave me helpful "idiot" instructions on when to shift.

And a special note to self,  next time check how to put the car into reverse in advance, then you aren't blocking your street trying to parallel park your car.  Related - the car manual is very well organized and easy to find the info you need QUICKLY.

The Cruze had great pick up and go for passing and the brakes worked great.   It was a perfect vehicle for booting around town, with a car seat in the back and a weekend's worth of stuff in the trunk (including my son's scooter which he insisted on bringing to Grandpa's house).

The best part of the weekend - I got to cuddle my 6 month old Great Nephew before he moved to Ontario. Yup! I'm old enough to have a great nephew.  But he is too cute for me to care.

Disclaimer - GM provided me a vehicle with gas and paid for the ferry to get the car to Victoria and back.  Some links in this post are affiliate links and may benefit me if you purchase something.

Upon being measured it appears I am a 37" around (nope not going to reveal the cup size).  The Addition Elle bras start at a 38.  Now don't get me wrong a proper measurement is key to starting a good bra fitting. But more important is trying on different styles in different sizes. Because different styles fit differently - no matter what your numbers say. And I found all the 38" band sizes fit me just fine.  Where I had problems was my narrow shoulders and the strap length.    The more practical styles had longer straps, that couldn't be shortened enough for me.

Smooth Curves Underwire Bra - sizes 38 D to 44 DDD

So I ended up trying on the super sexy  Femme Fatale Bra in this lovely Deep Aqua colour.  The band fit without any back bulge.  It fit flat in front between the girls.  Nothing extra bulged under the arms.  The straps had lots of room for adjustment and stayed in place.  Nothing rode up in back.  And since Addition Elle had given me a lovely card for a bra and pantie, there was nothing stopping me from bringing it (and the matching panties) home with me.

Femme Fatale Bra in Aqua - sizes 38C to 44DD

Interestingly, after I got home I took their Bra Personality Quiz... it also came up with the Femme Fatale for me.  Clearly it was the right choice for me.

And of course, I can't visit an Addition Elle without checking out all the fun spring clothes.  This black and white v-neck dress kept calling to me from the display.  I'm not normally a pattern girl. But I figured it was saying something to me.  And it was. It fit beautifully.  And the back is so cute.  So I took it home.

Black and white v-neck dress on right now lives at my house.

So while I may still need a good basic nude coloured t-shirt bra for the summer.  I am more than ready with a great foundation for my girls, that is just a bit more exciting if it peaks out from underneath a top.  A picture of me in the dress to follow soon.

Disclosure - I was provided the bra and pantie care of Addition Elle. The dress I bought myself.  All opinions, as always, are my own.    All photos care of Addition Elle.

I used to regularly comb the local thrift stores waaaaaaay back in the 80s to find great vintage and inexpensive finds.  Over sized men's shirts to be worn with big hip belts.  A great two sided black trench coat, with black/white gingham on the other side.  A lacy 50s dresses.....   Then somehow I dropped off the thrift band wagon.  The 90s came and I was starting my professional life. The Gap took over as my shopping destination.

A few years ago I discovered thrift again.  Lately Value Village has been added to my list of regular fashion haunts.  Yes, Value Village is more than just a Halloween destination!  It is more than just a place to get great used kids clothes. It is  a treasure trove of cheap, eco-friendly, fashion finds.

Here are some of the eco stats you might not know about Value Village:

• 600 million pounds of goods are saved from the landfills each year by the Value Village cycle
• 947 million pounds of goods were recycled in the past 3 years by Value Village.  That is equal to 2.6 pounds of goods for every person in Canada, the US AND Australia.
• 200 million pounds of items are sold to developing countries
• $1.5 billion was donated to non-profits over the last 10 years.

Every Time you shop or donate second hand items at a Value Village you are helping their network of nonprofit partners.   Value Village donates money for each piece they receive, regardless of whether it sells or not.

The problem as I see it, is that we have forgotten how to shop thrift.  We are busy and shopping new can be so much easier.   But I want you to consider how much better, and more fun, it can be to add a thrift-ed item to your closet instead of something new.  First off, it is highly unlikely you will end up wearing the same dress as someone else to a party. And you can find some fantastic finds for very little money.  And we all love to save money right?!

Myriam in head-to-toe Value Village.

Value Village and Myriam Laroche, the founder of Eco Fashion Week gave me some tips to make shopping thrift easier:

1. Go often, you never know what treasures will be there the next day. Every Value Village store gets 5,000 new items every day.
2. Never have an expectation for finding a certain item, keep an open mind. You might go in for a dress and come out with an awesome top.
3. If you are wary about wearing second-hand clothing, many people find that books, housewares (specifically glassware) and handbags/accessories are a good entry-point. With more than 130 product categories at every Value Village store, there is much, much more than just clothing.
4. Give yourself enough time to shop the store. Each Value Village store has more than 100,000 items on the sales floor at any given time.
5. Wear something simple, such as flats, leggings and a tank top so that you can try items on as you shop.
6. When in doubt—grab it, and try it on. You never know!
7. It’s important to touch the clothes and feel the quality and craftsmanship. Be on the lookout for luxurious materials like silk and cashmere.
8. Look at labels to determine where the product was made. Typically, pieces of clothing made in Canada, U.S. or Italy are high-quality and have great workmanship and detail.
9. Shop a department you wouldn’t usually shop in and don’t limit yourself to size. Some of the best blazers, cardigans and shirts for women can be found in the men’s department. Interesting fashions can also be found by taking something in a larger size and adding a belt!
10. Try to work second-hand clothing into your wardrobe slowly. For example, if you buy five pieces of clothing per month, buy one secondhand.
11. Have fun with shopping second-hand! Bring friends and make it a treasure-hunt adventure!

I am going to add that there are extra bonus points for those of us who can thrift with our kids along with us.  I have recently discovered a quick visit to the toy section first will buy me about 15 minutes of peace... even in a very long line up for the change room.   But note that it can be very busy on Saturdays, so try for a mid week visit. Many of their locations are open until 9 on weekdays.  Perfect for an after the kids go to bed shopping excursion.

And what did I wear? Well I forgot to take my own picture.  But I did get captured on the green carpet with the lovely Anna Cohen (writing for VancouverMom.ca) and Kendra Hagerman (VanCityPretty).  You can find the picture over on Facebook.   For the record I was wearing a Banana Republic black button down, hot pink Joe Fresh tank, Addition Elle black belt, black pencil skirt, second hand leopard print flats, bright blue thrift-ed 1960s swing coat, white flea market find necklace and my new purple Liebeskin purse. For those keeping count that is 3 second hand items in one pretty snazzy outfit.

Some of the Value Village outifts that Myriam styled for the show.

It also seemed like the perfect opportunity to wear my new red Gap wide leg pants and red platform Fluevogs.   I kept my top simple with a ruffled black blouse (had it too long to remember the brand).

Did I feel fabulous?  Yes!   Am I in love with the results? Not really.  It looks a bit sloppy.  Of course the wrinkles in the pants and the messy hair don't help.  But I think it is the blouse I am not loving.  I like it better when it is worn under something else or is belted.  The pants are a bit relaxed in their fit- so when paired with the blouse it all feels a bit sloppy.  But when trying something new and bold like red pants, it might take a few tries to get it right.

What I do love.  My new necklace from Plum.  Purchased during their boxing week sale.

And then, me being me, I had to have a bit of fun.  Here is my attempt to replicate Angelina Jolie's stand from the Oscars. I tried the serious face with a pout, but I couldn't keep my face straight for long.... but it just isn't the same without the giant slit!

I did a piece on red pants for spring for The Vancouver Observer a few weeks ago, which led me to these pants.  The shopping trip in search of the red pants was interesting.... warning change room photos to follow. 

A quick aside - when shopping always remember that it isn't you that doesn't fit the clothes. It is the clothes that don't fit you!   Not everything is designed for our particular shape and size.  So sometimes it takes a few tries before you find the right thing.

First  I checked out the ankle pants at Talbots.

I loved the length, fabric, flat front, side zip and fit of these pants.  But unfortunately they also gave me the toe of a desert animal (but I might need to go back and buy that striped top - thoughts??).

Then it was Banana Republic for a cropped version.

I loved the length of these pants. But don't let the picture fool you these were way too tight and the muffin top was legen...dary.  Since Banana Republic no longer makes size 16 in their pants I was out of luck.

The next stop was The Bay, where I tried on a pair of straight leg Ralph Lauren pants.

These were my least favourite of the day. The straight leg was not flattering on my shape and the side slit pockets were not comfortable.  And when you are buying statement red pants you need to look and feel fabulous in them.

I was convinced that a wide leg pant was probably going to be the winner.  I have at least half a dozen on my pinterest board. I figured I had to find them somewhere in store.  And The Gap did not disappoint.  The size 16 pants fit perfectly in-store. Which made me a bit nervous as they are 100% cotton and could stretch out.  But the 14 was too tight in the waist. So I took the risk and bought the 16.  I figured the cotton will be practical when chasing a 4 year old around.

 Now I just need to remember how to use an iron.

I might have to wear my red pants again this weekend at Breathe Now.   Styling them might take a bit of practice. But practice makes perfect!

I talk a lot about trying to juggle a my life with a husband, a 4  year old, work, friends and well life.  And frankly I just don't have as much energy as I did in my 20s to get it all done.  Let's face it worrying about getting your kid into kindergarten, getting him off to preschool on time with a snack and combed hair, paying my bills, making dinner, skating lessons, eeking out some date time with hubbie, running my business, networking for new business... well, the stress builds.   And when the stress builds things, and me, get kind of ugly!  So I thought we all might benefit from a guest post from Holly Mosier, an expert on stress, to find out how we 40-plus-year-old women can effectively deal with stress.  And Holly knows this topic – at 51 years old she is a wife, mother, stepmother, author, former trial lawyer and travels all across the country.  So I asked her, with the craziness that is often our lives, what can we do to reduce our stress and find some peace of mind?

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Here is what Holly had to say:

When I was 40, I hit a wall.  I was newly remarried, a mother, stepmother and a trial lawyer.  My new husband was also a trial lawyer.  Between us, we had four kids, demanding jobs and we were trying to “blend.”  It was . . . a war zone.   I was gaining weight, losing energy and I became terribly depleted and depressed. I chalked it up to our challenging circumstances and perimenopause.  But what I ended up discovering was that all my problems, at their root, were caused by stress. A lot of stress!

Stress is cumulative.  The effects build up over time.  We may think that we can blow off a little steam occasionally and rid ourselves of our stress, but that isn’t true. As long as we keep our crazy schedules intact and stretch ourselves too thin, the effects of stress bury themselves in our psyche and our bodies, causing a myriad of problems we chalk up to “normal aging.” These effects include wrinkles, belly fat, fatigue, lethargy, a suppressed immune system that leaves us more vulnerable to illness . . . all those things that rob us of our ability to enjoy a vibrant, vital and expansive life.  I want to be attractive and vibrant as I age.  Don’t we all?

Reducing stress and learning a few simple tools to keep it under control opened up new vistas for me and changed my outlook on aging.  I bet it will for you, too.  When I am not operating under that state of depletion that stress brings, I can fully enjoy my life, at every stage.

I am 51 years old now, and living a more vibrant, happy life than I ever did in my 20’s, 30’s or 40’s.  Here are a couple of the key things I did to arrive at this very fulfilling place:

 1.  Opt Out. 

Just Opt Out.  I only wish I had learned this decades ago. I would have started truly enjoying my life so much sooner!

Opting out is saying no to demands, invitations, requests and activities that leave you depleted with no time for yourself.  Until I learned to say no – and mean it – I was always overloaded with stress, and suffered from its nasty effects, including lethargy, crankiness and belly fat.

You see, our American culture has a major dysfunction: overscheduling.  And no matter how many stress-management tools you have, they do not come close to compensating for a schedule with too many things to do and not enough time in which to do them. So until you create some time for yourself by opting out, you are going to be a slave to the harmful effects of stress.

You may feel guilty and selfish at first for guarding your down time.  Saying no can be uncomfortable, especially when you’re not used to it.  At first you may hem and haw and circle around it, perhaps even offering a weak “maybe.”  That is a big mistake.  It is better if you are just out with it.  Offering excuses and reasons why you can’t do something only muddies things and serves as an opening for negotiation.  The most important reason for your “no” is that you need your downtime so you won’t behave like a jerk because you’re depleted.  So just smile, and say no thank you, and keep moving.  And when you do start opting out, you’ll soon find that you are a much nicer, more present, more productive person in each instance where you choose to commit and say yes.  You’ll bring a greater benefit to yourself, your family and others when you are not constantly operating from a state of depletion.

When I take a break, even just a brief one, the creative energy flows in.  Only then do I have anything of value to share with others. The human body and mind require downtime to rejuvenate and I have found my greatest moments of joy and peace just sitting in a few moments of silence, and then I take that joy and peace with me out into the world.

When I truly started opting out and stopped the cycle of being constantly over-committed, my stress reduced dramatically - nearly overnight - and a happy, vibrant, and belly-fat-free person who was hiding in there emerged!

2.  Four-Count Breath.

The Four-Count Breath is my quickest and most effective stress reduction tool.  All you do is consciously focus on the breath.  You can do it anytime, anywhere, and no one even needs to know.  I learned about the calming effects of focused breathing through yoga, but you do not need to do yoga to benefit from it.

My Four-Count Breath technique is simple.  Breathe in through your nose while slowly counting to four, then exhale through your nose to the count of four.  Focus on the breath with your mind.  Listen to the sound of it.  If possible, close your eyes.  Let the breath be smooth, with no gasping or catching, kind of like a wave flowing in and then drifting away from the shore.

After just three or four of these breaths, you will begin to notice a difference.  You’ll start to relax.

Focused breathing is fun for me.  I love playing around with it.  When I’m driving and hit a red light, that’s a signal to begin the Four-Count Breath.  The phone rings?  Four-Count Breath starts before I even answer it.  The alarm goes off?  Four-Count Breath begins.  I’m like Pavlov’s dog.  I’ve ingrained the habit, so my first response when something stressful happens is to focus on my breath rather than blindly reacting.  You can feel the stress just wash away, or at least the worst of it.

Opting out and the Four-Count Breath are just some of the things I incorporate into my life that keep me happy, healthy and vibrant.  Now I am actually enjoying everything I get to do, from work, kids, grocery shopping, to taking a vacation.  Without the stress, work and play all becomes satisfying, and happy people age well.

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Holly Mosier is the author of the groundbreaking book, Stress Less, Weigh Less and the creator of Holly Mosier’s10-Minute Yoga DVD.  To find out more about Holly, go to http://hollymosier.com

Society (and the media) is constantly telling us how we should look and what is beautiful.  I feel that we need to create our own definitions of beauty, embrace our differences and not allow the media to define our beauty for us.  How do we learn to love ourselves today, not who we were yesterday or who we might be tomorrow?  How do we change our thinking so that our faults become differences?

It's ok... to look and feel your best.  It's ok... to Own Our Beauty!

In addition to myself the panel will include:

• Veronique da Silva - a Victoria area photographer @dasilvafoto
• Teresa Sims - A Victoria area style blogger @TeresaSims

My post on Owning My Beauty - one day at a time! on the Breathe Now site is here.

The  overall Breathe Now conference is going to be very exciting.  I can't wait to hear the keynote speakers Bif Naked and Rona Maynard the former Editor to Chatelaine magazine. With these two women leading the way we are sure to come home invigorated and inspired!

Oh and I get to drive a cute little Chevrolet Cruze over to Victoria for the event.