Reader caution:  This post includes explicit language about a particular part of the female body (see title for hint).  If you want to maintain your belief in the  fantasy that is the female breast, do not read any further. And NO there are no pictures in this post.

I have to admit that one of my best physical features has always been "The Girls".   Friends used to refer to them by the  Teri Hatcher quote from Seinfeld "By the way, they are real, and they are SPECTACULAR".    Of course along with those breasts came hips and curves, but that is a different story.  In the good old days, I loved the girls and they loved me! 

Gravity seemed slow to affect my Girls.  That was until I had a baby at 39.  While pregnant and breastfeeding they were beyond anything I thought possible.  Then the breastfeeding stopped and gravity hit with a tremendous crash.  Now they seem to do the exact opposite of the past.  When I stand up, they try to reach my belly button.  When I lie down they disappear somewhere off to the side.   And the only way I can make the headlights match is to bend over and adjust them evenly in the bra.   They followed me everywhere - up, down or sideways.   ALL bad!!

I didn't fully realize how much I had accepted my dismal breast fate until I went bra shopping .  I had waited the 'right' amount of time after breastfeeding to start to look at new bras.  And then I procrastinated a while longer... None of my pre-pregnancy bras worked.  And I had to stop wearing my nursing bras.    So I could no longer put off the necessary.  

I figured Tim Gunn, Oprah, Stacy London and my Mom couldn't all be wrong.   A good, proper fitting bra is the foundation of everything.  So, armed with my Mom, we headed off to a local bra store  (click here for bra fitting tips).    I first tried the Bay on my own.  I found it huge, overwhelming and without much in the way of customer service (such a slide from the old days when it was THE place to get fitted).  I also didn't go to a major lingerie chain, because they rarely have anything in my size and frankly it is hard to find really knowledgeable staff. 

Anyways, I was poked, prodded and generally felt up for the next hour.   I learnt that I had high cleavage, which caused me to spill out of the top.    And I learnt to ignore the actual sizes she was telling me - each bra does fit differently and I was buying my bras in the past based on numbers not on the important stuff.   So I bought 4 new bras (2 of the same great fitting basic beige for everyday, 1 great black bra and a lacy fun purple number for those days that a little extra something is necessary).   I frankly spent a small fortune.   But why bother spending money or wasting time on the rest of my clothes if your bra doesn't fit right.  And frankly when the girls are happy I'm happy. 

I left that store with the girls locked and loaded, standing  once again at attention, my waist line visible and my self-confidence jolted up like a cup of double espresso.  My clothes fit me in a whole new way.   And I once again felt as SPECTACULAR as I know I am.  

For those Vancouver readers I visited Diane's Lingerie on Granville Street. But I know the women at Monaliza and they are also excellent.  And several of my girlfriends have recommended Change (with several locations in YVR).