I take great pride in my personal efforts to own my beauty. To accept and celebrate who I am today. Not who I was. Or who I might become. But me. Today.
But I do NOT love my body. I accept it. I appreciate it. I lean on it. I favor some bits more than others. I try to own it. I will never change my physical self to meet someone else's idea of beauty. But as I listened to Taryn from Body Image Movement.speak last fall I realized something. She is passionate about women loving their bodies. Her message really resonated. But I realized I do not love my body. And I am not sure if I ever will.
I believe that I am more than my body size, shape or silhouette. I believe that my physical differences are what make me unique, and are not faults. I believe my body has allowed me to do so many extraordinary things in my life. I am thankful and grateful everyday for my body. I embrace the body that I have been given. But I do NOT love it. It creaks. It bloats. It complains when I try new things. In short it is ageing right along with me. And it is doing GREAT. But I do not love it.
What I DO love is my:
- laugh... usually full belly hallway resounding laugh
- ability to laugh at myself. .. usually after I have spilt something on myself in a very public way
- laugh lines. .. see #1
- grey streak... it is unique, layered and quirky - just like me.
- style. .. which is a continual work in progress
- love of reading... I am still that little girl taking a stack of books out of the portable library
- growth as a writer. .. another continual work in progress
- curves... I learnt to embrace these early on
- flexibility. .. I may not be able to spin (on ice) with my foot up near my head any more, but my flexibility will serve me well as I age
- son... who was born of my body.
But the idea of FULL ON love for my body escapes me. And I am okay with that.